In honor of my 21st birthday today, I decided to make a top 7 list for that special age. The top 7 drunkards in video games. That's right. And not just any drunks, oh no. Characters who are not only known for drinking a little, but are notorious for getting wasted and are typically in that stance when stumbled upon. Are you readfghy;'?
7. Katamari Damacy - King of Cosmos
King of Cosmos is our number seven for two reasons. Number one, we don't know that he goes into a drunken stupor very often, but also because in the American version, he never does. In the Japanese version of Katamari Damacy, the king gets completely drunk and destroys all of the stars. That's a pretty big deal, compared to the typical "I got glass stuck in my foot and threw up on my bed" story. I think this constitutes the King of Cosmos a special place in my list.
6. Punch Out - Vodka Drunkinski (Soda Popinski)
Soda Popinski, formerly known as Vodka Drunkinski was known for drinking heavily, but someone who has an alcohol beverage for a name automatically earns points in my book. America decided to change his name due to the alcoholic reference, but we all knew Soda was drunk in the first place, wearing that crazy getup.
5. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Yanni Yogi
Yanni Yogi is a senile old man who owns a boat rental shop, but is so gone, he thinks it's a noodle shop! He also confuses Phoenix and Maya for his children, Keith and Meg. He has a parrot that seems to be more stable than he is and clearly, this old man merits a place on this list.
4. Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction/ Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty - Captain Romulus Slag & Rusty Pete
In both of these Ratchet games, Captain Slag and Rusty Pete are are notorious for drinking grog and are heard throughout the game drunkenly singing their pirate songs. Not only do captain and first mate enjoy their alcoholism, but so does the entire crew of space pirates, who Ratchet frequently encounters. Getting 'a bit grogged up' is all too familar to these booty loving pirates.
3. Conker's Bad Fur Day - Conker
This adorable squirrell was originally in the most cutesy, jolly game. After receiving bad reviews for being 'overly adorable', they decided to go all out and go against the grain. Thus, Conker's Bad Fur Day was born, and this squirrell didn't care about nuts or the trees. He wanted booze and money! This game begins and ends with Conker drinking away his sorrows and intoxicating himself further.
2. King of Fighters - Chin Getsai
Chin Getsai used to be an incredible fighter. Over the years, Chin lost his edge and decided he'd rather spend his time with his wife and smoking his pipe. Oh yeah, and binge drinking. Chin has a terrible habit of getting drunk consistently, even when it's time to fight! He then trained to master in the art of the Drunken Monkey, which became his main fighting style.
1. Virtual Fighter - Shun Di
Shun Di is our number one because he is a master of Drunken Kung Fu and is overall embarrassing and hilarious to watch, as are many drunks. Similar to our number two in fighting style, but Shun beats out Chin because of how excessive his drinking is and his status in the video game world.
So remember, folks. Drink responsibly, lest you do something stupid.
